I am here

I AM HERE

I slowly drift out of sleep.
Still, I refuse to open my eyes,
To the reality that change eludes me

The first feeling that greets me is the familiarity of anguish.
A sense of torment that cuts so deep, it rips through my very soul.
My body, thrice the age of my years,
My agility suppressed by the fangs of malady.
The emotional exhaustion becomes overwhelming,
The spiritual betrayal seems too much to bear…
Yet another day ahead in the prison of my own body.

But

I open my eyes.

The rays of the sun pierce the curtains and dance on my cheeks.
They compete with the wings of the butterfly fluttering across my face,
Somehow nourishing my soul with hope
By finding the needles of purpose
In my haystack of affliction

…And I smile

But how can I smile when I struggle to walk?
Because I remember a time when wheels became my transport.
How can I smile when every move is agonizing?
Because I remember a time when my bed was my shackle.
How can I smile when I am in constant pain?
Because I feel…

And to feel, I have to be here :
Alive, living, loving, dancing, laughing,
And crying, struggling, falling, crawling,
But rising, fighting, thriving, slaying…. winning.

I… am…here!