Dear Self

Dear Self,

You worked extremely hard to achieve all you have today. The degrees, certificates and licensure that you hung up in your office were intended to reflect your competence to those you serve. For you, however, they are constant reminders of your triumph over struggles and limitations. There were times you wished that financial difficulties and the pressures of university life were the only challenges you had. There were times you wished that those challenges were not combined with hospital admissions, biopsies, diagnoses after diagnoses, death of friends with the same disease and complications you had, and your own brushes with death. But not only did you refuse to give up, you rejected the acceptance of mediocrity…And so, the “Lupus Girl” topped her university. I do not tell you often enough how proud I am of you.

You have always been driven to use your knowledge and experience to improve your region. And you believed you were ready and equipped to do so after completing university. You were so excited! Your mind could not contain the endless possibilities.

But you were not expecting what the world had for you. You were not expecting to feel like all you had worked to accomplish did not matter in the place you most wanted to contribute- the place where you felt destined to make a difference. You were not expecting to feel rejected so much that you came to expect it. You were not expecting to enter an era which celebrates the abolition of physical slavery but perpetuates the cycle of mental slavery. You were certainly not expecting tothat you would have to fight and struggle in order to help people.  

But though you had not expected those things, I need to remind you that you were not unprepared for them. God has given you the gift of life and He walks with you always. Your childhood has equipped you with confidence. Your family and friends have endowed you with love and support. Your fight with Lupus has honed your fortitude, courage and perseverance. Education has armed you with the ability to make your brain your greatest asset. And with the genes of your ancestors, heredity destined you to rise with an indomitable spirit.

I also need you to remember, “third world” has more to do with our mindset than the economy. Do not let anyone convince you to become comfortable in dysfunction. Understand that some people have remained in that state for so long, it has become their norm, but it shall not be yours. Seek to make changes that will not only benefit you, but all those who come after you. Understand that the system itself is never the problem. Systems are made and maintained by people. Therefore, systems can be changed and improved by people. Fight, if you must, to help create a system that your children will be proud to be a part of – one that prioritizes the welfare of its employees, compensates for qualifications, practices equity and equality, and promotes respect for all human beings.

 Do not be deterred by disappointments. Do not be shaken by arrogance or ignorance. Do not be afraid to take risks, to chase your dreams, to stand up for what you believe is right, to go against the norm and to walk away when it is in your best interest to do so. Do not allow anything or anyone to silence you. Defy every limitation forced on you – especially those you impose upon yourself.

 You are pregnant with potential. You have found your purpose. Pursue it aggressively.

 Again, I am so very proud of you – the “choked up – lump in the throat – misty-eyed” kind of proud.

PS. It will all make sense some day! 

All my love,

Shoy 

Shoyéa-Gaye Grant-Massicotte ©