Can it be…?

I spend a lot of time in my head. It’s quite an interesting place to be. Since lately, I have been pondering the interlocking notions of life, love and religion.

The chemical and electrical signals are firing a gazillion miles per millisecond and there is no stopping them. My brain will not turn off. So I will pull you along for the ride. I have a stockpile of questions.  It is likely that you may think I am crazy somewhere along the way, but that’s ok.

Maybe I am…but just walk with me:

Can it be that love is so profound and powerful that, by its very nature, it lacks the capacity to end? Therefore, can it be that the love that has mutated to hate or love that has shrivelled up, withered away and died was never love at all?

Can it be that the notion of “soulmates” is not actually baloney? That indeed, there is one person whose love will touch the deepest part of your being? Can it be that you can share a reciprocated connection with one person that surpasses any other connection you have ever felt? That makes every other connection dull in comparison? Can it be that there is only one person that you will love to the highest and widest and deepest of your potential and capacity to love? Can it be that the love that completes you and feeds your soul, the love that so many people spend their whole lives searching for, is as real as humanity and many of us shun such a possibility because we have never encountered it? Can it be that only the few who have been blessed to find it, know what it feels like to be held by the Adam whose rib she was created from and behold the Eve that is the product and the producer of the inner core and depth of the man he truly is?

Can it be that it is possible to love for lifetimes, because, as Jesus demonstrated in his resurrection, the potency of true, selfless, unconditional love can break even the barriers of death? If this is probable, can it be that when we meet a friend, a sister, a brother, our soulmate, we are meeting a familiar soul with which a connection was created and matured and refined over lifetimes? Can it be that such unbreakable bonds that are equally shared between any two people, cannot be explained by our socialization and the shackles of literalness and familiarity by which we compress our minds, because these bonds are not created by chance, but rekindled by destiny?

Can it be that such a bond is what God was referring to when he said that “the two shall become one”? Can it be that this connection is the epitome of marriage? Can it be then, that we have bought into a delusional system that has weighed us down with the absurdity that a wedding equates to marriage?  Can it be that while the two are undoubtedly related, they are independent of each other, so that people can have a wedding but not be married and can be married without having a wedding? Can it be that connecting with someone in every way two people can connect, and having that connection returned with the same intensity is the definition of union? If so, then can it be that a true marriage cannot be severed by any force that comes up against it? Can it, therefore, be plausible, that divorce is only a reality because there was never a marriage?

Can it be that while some of us will find completion in our soulmates, some of us will become complete through friendships, careers, devotion to a cause, religion, education, sacrifice? Can it be that some of us spend our lives dedicated to external factors to compensate for and distract us from the reality that the love we yearn for seems elusive? Or worse, that we never know that it is like to feel true contentment within ourselves? Can it be that the most important relationship one can have is the relationship with himself or herself, because it is the surety and honesty of who we are that we share with those who are significant to us? If it is the core of who we are that connects us to the core of our significant other and if it is the core of who we are that points us towards our purpose, can it be that without knowledge of who we are fundamentally, we will never be able to love completely or walk into our destiny?

Can it be that our bodies are all displays of God’s artwork? If it is that we are all created by God and we are all different, can it be then that it is an injustice to impose a standard by which we measure beauty? Can it be that when we label someone as “ugly” we insult not only the person, but the creator who sculpted and refined every aspect of His creation in His likeness then gave life to that being? Can it be when we are critical of our own bodies, we are telling our creator that we are displeased with His work because it does not conform to a subjective society’s narrowly shallow perception of beauty? Can it be that “ugly” should never be used as a description for someone’s natural appearance, but should be used to construe attitudes and behaviours that perpetuate a cycle of inferiority? Can it be that “beauty” should be used to describe the heart instead of the face, hair, colour and weight?

Can it be that we should appreciate diversity instead of condemning it? Can it be possible for us to accept our own beliefs and live by our own standards, while at the same time, allow others to do the same? Can it be fair for us to extend the level of respect and regard to persons with different views and lifestyles, in the same way we would want our views and choices to be respected? Can it that if we look at our fellow man first, as a human being with worth and value, then secondly, as an equal, our cloak of hypocrisy and judgement would fall from our shoulders?

Can it be that what is more important than religion, is a relationship with the Creator? Can it be that while we have been socialized to have a particular perception of God, we have to search for our own answers and meanings, and find God for ourselves? Can it be that if we strip away those demarcations of religion and denominations, we may realise that we are serving the same God and we are more alike than we are different?

Can it be that the competing ideas of death- that it is sleep, the gateway to heaven and hell, the conversion to a spiritual or angelic state and the opportunity to be born into another lifetime- all have some truth to them? Can it be that there are people among us who can dream dreams and interpret them, who can see into the future and look back into the past and those who can communicate with the spiritual realm?

I have so many questions, and as a child of the universe with the right to be here, I am entitled to ask those questions. My journey with Lupus has taken me to death’s door and back too any times to count. As such, I know the beauty of being here. Being alive. I AM HERE!… And because of that, I am at liberty to explore the world and the possibilities that exist.

It is my sincerest desire that I never get to the pinnacle of conceit where I am convinced that all there is to this life is what I have been taught, what I understand, what I accept and what I have been exposed to. I hope I never experience the climax of pompousness where I believe that if it is outside the scope of my logical understanding and acceptance, it is unreal.

I discovered that the only way to really explore is to approach each new experience, each new situation, each new day with an open mind. It does not mean that I will throw all my fundamental beliefs outside the window and jump on the bandwagon of everything that enters my field of vision or gets sucked into my auditory canal. It does mean, however, that I will allow myself the opportunity to gain from each experience as much as I can possibly gain without becoming my own obstacle.

As my brain and my fingers slowly decrease their pace, I am left with the lingering questions that electrified my brain and jumpstarted the process that produced all the other questions:

Can it be that we are all just parts of a whole? That all we have been taught and all we believe are just fractions of a grand design? Can it be possible that our differences in culture, history, religion and beliefs are not really differences, but separate pieces of the jigsaw puzzle of existence?  

The single most important question is this:

Can it be that the universe is unfolding as it should?

I continue my journey of change. I continue my journey of exploration.

Think I’m crazy? Maybe I am…but just walk with me…

By: Shoyéa-Gaye Grant ©