“Ash, I have something to tell you.”
“Go ahead,” I responded from the other end of the line.
“I have lupus.” I heard the words and they quickly replayed in my head. LUPUS.
At that point, I only had a little knowledge of the disease, and my experience with it was not good. Immediately, I remembered Toni Braxton’s announcement of not being able to tour again because of the same disease. Then my mind went back to losing my assistant at work to Lupus. This was as much as I knew about the disease – this was my experience. So you can well imagine the thoughts that ran through my head when I heard those words. Strangely, and almost immediately though, what stood out was the fact that Shoy had decided to open up and tell me what she was dealing with from the start of our relationship. This had a much greater effect on me than the news itself.
That night when she fell asleep on the other end of the line (as we slept in each other’s ear every night), I spent the next two hours on my MacBook researching everything possible about the disease, from symptoms to life expectancy, to medication, to possible cure. I was now determined to learn everything possible about the dreaded disease. After all, the one whom I was quickly growing in love with faced its challenges on a daily basis. Over the next few days and weeks and months, I learned more about the disease by asking questions and observing whenever we were physically together.
I quickly discovered the daily challenges that so many people don’t see: the constant fatigue, the joint pains, the occasional vomiting, the will it takes to simply get out of bed. But it was in this process of lupus discovery that I began to see what mattered most – the person dealing with the disease. While it pained my heart to witness those challenging moments, I became amazed at the drive and will power she possesses. I wondered, how can someone with so much pain, someone so tired, give so much of herself daily, to help others in need? How could someone having to deal with so many challenges have gained so much and achieved so much? How could someone with so much pain and so tired encourage me to keep fighting through my own struggles, and remind me that everything will be alright?
It still amazes me how the woman I love refuses to let a disease that does so much, and causes so much pain, to dictate her life. She fights it like a true warrior, and on most days, even when it may slow her down, she does not give in. She is now my daily inspiration; whether I am in pain, tired or frustrated, I remind myself that she goes through so much more than I do, yet she fights on, and if she can, I have no excuse.
For some reason, I am not bothered by Lupus. Firstly, I serve a God who has worked miracles in both our lives, both individually and as a couple. And even in the midst of challenges, God continues to work those miracles showing us that He is still in charge. And because of this, I chose to love the blessing that He has given to me with every bit of my being. Before Shoy, I was depressed daily, with my son as my only inspiration to stay alive, but now I have two precious blessings.
Proposing to Shoy in the middle of the ocean while whale watching was a really special moment, not because of where we were, but because she said yes. Nothing beats the thought of spending your life with the one you’re absolutely in love with. Well so I thought, until the day I looked at her captivating smile, as she walked towards me on our wedding day. And nothing could have been better than to have my son, our families, and our friends share that moment. Later that evening as we relaxed alone, I tried my best to tell her how much I love her, and how wonderful a person she is, but words just could not do justice.
Anyone who has had the chance to know my wife, and has seen her drive, her fight, her determination, her willingness to ignore the pain to help someone else, will agree with me that she is one of a kind, a heavenly jewel. So who is, and what is Lupus? Lupus is nothing compared to the AWESOMENESS that I see when I look at Shoyéa-Gaye, or the beauty that I see when I look into her eyes or see her smile, or hear her laughter.
Shoyéa-Gaye has taught me that I can win, no matter the challenge that I face. She has taught me that when God allows challenges in our lives, they are opportunities to bless others, opportunities to teach and inspire others. This is what she does everyday!
What else can I say? I did not marry lupus; I got married to AWESOME!
By: Ashley Massicotte ©
This is beyond amazing. So happy to have met you Shoyéa. I could tell you are exactly what Atto is describing.
Alix
God is in control
I am a lupus patient just searching for something, not sure what, and I came across your story. Tears came to my
eyes and yet I experienced a feel good moment inside, to know that there are still good men around.
May God bless you both.
I am glad you came up on my story and it brought you some joy. Indeed there are still good men around. As it relates to Lupus, you are not alone, my sister <3
Woooooow! This is so amazing
Thank you!
Congratulation to this beautiful couple.
Your marriage is a demonstration of unconditional love.
Continued growth and enlightenment towards a successful life together.
Thank you so much for your wishes. We are honoured to be viewed in this light
Thank you so much for your wishes. We are honoured to be viewed in this light 🙂
Thank you so much for your wishes, my dear. We are honoured to be viewed in this light 🙂
Wow! Ashley u couldn’t have said it any better.
Ashley, you described the Shoy I know and how better to put it than heavenly Jewel. Shoy is an amazing person, a blessing from God us.
Lovely!
Awe…….awesomeness……love it, on point.
This is really beautiful guys, brought tears to my eyes. I personally gave up on love because of LUPUS and what it has done to my skin and my body, but you both have given me hope. God bless you both and I wish for you a happy marriage and life together.
Awwww I got teary eyes just reading, I’m happy the strength u have Ashley, continue to be there for her.. Shoya I can’t say I know what u are going through, but one thing for sure u have educate me on this illness I was totally clueless about.. Continue to press on baby girl u serve a miracle working God, n u have love love love abandon amount of it from ur relatives, friends, n now ur hussy.. Most men would probably walk away known what lies ahead but Ashley stick around to go through this with u, what more could u have asked for.. Cho! Let me stop I getting that teary eyes thing again.. Bless u both, n the GRANT family I know the battle u guys faces but ur love n laughter conquers all..
And that ladies and gentlemen is the true face of God blessed love. Ashley u do have a treasure and it obviously takes a strong man to deal with the dynamite that is Shoyea. Congrats again and God bless you guys.
I have not met you as yet Ashley, however I am sure you are good for each other. I wish for you both the very best that life has to offer. God bless both of you.
😍😍😍
Lawx… unnu got me all moeshanal and shitnitzzz
It is always a blessing when the Lord is in the midst of every relationship and for tht you two should be grateful because no sickness shall get you guys down because the Lord is the center of ur lives… congrats to u both and may God continue to give your wife (a beautiful soul) strength