My Serenity Prayer-Part 3

Before I begin, let me encourage you to read My Serenity Prayer- Part 1 and My Serenity Prayer-Part 2 if you haven’t already.

Lord, grant me the wisdom to not spend so much time focused on the preview that I miss out on the movie

Some experiences are meant to teach us lessons, that if learnt and applied, have the potential to change our lives in ways we could not have even imagined. For others, their purpose is to give us a sneak peek into our future. They are simply previews.

In the literal sense, previews give a synopsis of the movie and tend to reveal some of the high points so as to grab our attention to incite interest to watch the movie. Our temporary blessings can sometimes have that same function. While we can become captivated by the preview, the truth is that it often comes up lacking. Since hindsight is 20/20, sometimes it takes stepping away from the situation and looking back, for us to see some of the things we could not have seen while we were in the situation. It’s the idea of being so close to the tree that we can’t see the rest of the forest …or even that we are in a forest.

Just as a preview is only a 2-minute snapshot of a 2-hour movie, the previews in our lives give us little bits and pieces of the real thing but are not comprehensive because they do not have the capacity to be… because it is not their purpose to be. Their purpose is simply to introduce us to that which will give us true completion.

Our responses to previews may vary. Sometimes, the disappointment and heartbreak of the preview can lead us to avoid similar experiences. This line of reasoning makes sense. The only problem is that rationalism, while safe, often leads to an unlived existence. The most rewarding of experiences, such as those involving loving and risking, often throw pure logic out the window. Our experiences are supposed to equip us with the tools to help us make the best of upcoming experiences, not to prevent us from moving forward.

On the other hand, we can become so engulfed in the experience of the preview, that our perception of the experience becomes thwarted. The few occurrences of satisfaction or the small number of advantages can be magnified so much so that the majority of faults, disappointments, compromises and pain become minimized. So we end up stuck there, waiting and waiting for those times that are few and far between. By doing so, we settle. Such a response has also missed the purpose of the preview since it is meant to be just a sample of the entrée.

When I was in Dominica, I went to watch a band play a couple of times. The music was so beautiful. In a way and at that particular time, that music saved me. It healed my broken pieces, cushioned various blows that life threw at me and helped to give me direction. There was something about listening to the sweet melody of the fusion of Dominican folk music with different Caribbean, African, Soul, Pop and Jazz rhythms, while the night’s ocean breeze blew light kisses on my face.  Something about that music made me forget all my troubles and got me lost in its essence. However, the band couldn’t play forever and so the music would end and I had to return to reality. That coping mechanism wasn’t very effective though, and soon I found myself clinging to the few and the far between…. Until I realized that the music which I had come to love was but a preview of the movie of the green and the grey. Nature was the whole story. It had the beginning the middle and the end. While I could watch the band play every now and then, I woke up to the beautiful luscious green of the trees and the mountains every morning. When it wasn’t so sunny, I was blessed with the grey of the misty days and the beauty of witnessing the clouds kissing the mountains.

Its capacity to heal my heart and my mind were not temporary, but permanent. Even more so, it filled my heart with its own music, one that did not cease when the band stopped playing, one that increases in potency and survives distance, one that fills me with such joy and hope that the music of any other pales in comparison. Nature is the whole story. With its wealth of knowledge, it taught me with such compassion… and it continues to teach me today. I share the view of Wynn Bullock, that “whenever I have found myself stuck in the ways I relate to things, I return to nature. It is my principal teacher, and I try to open my whole being to what it has to say.”

So I pray for wisdom after I release my grasp on the temporary. I pray for the ability to perceive the situations that have not and will not work out in my life, not as dead ends but as the road that will lead to something even greater and more fulfilling. I pray for insight so I will not be preoccupied with ‘ok’, ‘almost’ and ‘alright’, so that when ‘great’, ‘amazing’ and ‘complete’ come along, my hands will be open and ready to receive them.

I also pray for a heart of gratitude for every temporary blessing and every preview. Undoubtedly, each one served its purpose, helped me grow and learn and ultimately, propelled me into the magnificence of that which is now undeniably my movie…

Shoyéa-Gaye Grant ©